She remembers the first time he showed her his scars….
she’d gone to 2 for 1 margaritas and on a whim sent him a text to see if he was free that evening.
they’d been sexting back and forth for what felt like years but really had only been a few months.
It had only been since memorial day and it wasn’t even labor day yet.
He said he was coming through
She didn’t know what to do.
She was new
She was new again.
She hadn’t been new in a while, and she was very, very new.
He came over
Traversed all the boros he had to get through to get to her
And he was there
He was there and just as fine as all the pictures he’d sent her over the months had made him out to be.
She was afraid.
She was afraid of disappointment
She was afraid the anticipation would outlive the possibility
She was afraid that they hype would be greater than the hump.
He pulled up his pants leg and showed her his scars.
There were so many of them
So many places but somehow, they worked for him.
So deeply imbedded in the curvature of the muscles of his leg
Almost more perfect than the ones he’d paid for on his arms.
She’d had 2 for 1 margaritas and had to follow up with something when she got home ‘cause she was not typically the kind of girl who did things like that….
Isn’t that always what all the girls who typically do stuff like this say say before they do something like this again?
He sat on the floor
She sat on the edge of the couch
Rub one scar and then another
It was just something about being close to a man that
In her house who wanted to be with her enough to travel as far as he did to get there.
She didn’t mean to pounce,
I promise you she didn’t
She didn’t even realize she was stratteling him and that one lobe of that delightful ear
his one delightful unpierced ear was in her mouth.
She sat facing him and his hands cupped her buttocks as if he were going to offer her up in to the heavens in thanks for what she was doing to
Up to his chin
Up to those lips
Those lips to this day still make her quiver
She saved a picture of him to her mental harddrive and every now and again she opens it to remember what those lips did to the many,many,many inches of her long frame again and again and again….
It was his fault
If he hadn’t shown her those scars and how they formed dimples on those amazing legs of his
She wouldn’t have done it
But she did
His hands are now up her back
His hands are now in the nape of her neck
Holding it back
Two fists full of her hair
Craning her neck away from his mouth so that he could take her in the way that she had taken him in
His hands had none of the callouses that a man of his musculature should have had.
His hands felt like they should have spent his life embroidering
No scars on those
She couldn’t even remember how their shirts came off
But she did remember feeling as though in that split moment when his amazing torso pressed against her breast first time that she probably should’ve never done anyone or anything but him.
He wrapped his arms around her completely.
He could wrap his arm,
around her all the way.
She felt small and frail in his strong embrace and she liked it.
She liked the way it made her feel.
It made her bold
She pulled her own hair
She pulled herself back down to devour that mouth.
Without so much as a grunt a moan or a forced breath he stood holding her
She wrapped her serpentine self him
Her legs clinging to his waist as though that was where they had always intended to be.
His arms around her
And the next thing she knew they were somehow undressed
Neither of them remembers how it happened
She remembers one of those scars brush ever so slightly against her inner thigh
She felt the scar and then his nipple drag closer to her knee
as his face went lower
covering every molecule of her flesh with kisses.
She hadn’t planned on it going here
They were just going to make out,
But, make out they did like BANDITS
The way that he was making her feel she soaked his mouth, his chin, his mustache, his beard,
She didn’t know she could get as wet as she was.
He moaned as he devoured her.
As he stuck his tongue deep inside her
In a place where no one had been in sooo long.
Nobody had been there in such a while.
She turned the light off and lost track of where she was
But somehow she could still see colors
She could still see the notes that the slow jams mixtape she’d put together were singing
And she couldn’t even read music.
He felt like every moan she had wasted on any and every one who came before him
And when he finally tore the wrapper open
covered himself in a sheath and slid into her
When he finally got inside her
Sweet Lord and Baby Jesus
She was new
He made her new
And she didn’t want to know anything but him
He knew how new she felt.
And instead of being cocky or arrogant or stuck up or disgusting
He moaned as if he was new as well.
Their new newness
Their joint newness
Made her even wetter
And she felt herself sliding against him,
She felt herself rocking with him,
He slid one of those softly strong into the small of her back
Cupped her buttocks
And pulled her closer in
She couldn’t help it
He looked at her startled and didn’t know what to make outta the sound she just made
It sounded like someone just cut the throat out of a live rooster
“I am so sorry….It’s just that you are sooo fcking…..”
and she couldn’t even finish the rest sentence
‘cause he was soooo fcking her sooo fcking well.
Then he started to say her name
She lost it
She lost control
He just kept panting her name into her neck
“Lucky….” She heard him moan
“Lucky!” She heard him moan
as he started to go harder
“LUCKY!!!.” She heard him moan….
And she couldn’t remember his name ‘cause she’d only invited him over for a few drinks so she just said
“Yes, baby! YES Baby! YES BABY!!!”
And he kept calling her Lucky and all she felt ‘cause she certainly was to be something that felt like that
And Lucky she became.
That night he held her ALL
Long after they were winding against each other’s pelvises
Long after they’d made a sweaty puddle against her new Egyptian cotton sheets
He held her in that puddle.
She was perfectly willing to give him the spaces he thought he was going to need
So she rolled over.
He took one of those chiseled arms, slid it underneath her
Pulled her to him
Wrapped her in the other one
Nuzzled the back of her neck from her kitchen to her collarbone
Kissed her across as much of her breast as he could without folding her and breaking her bones in those oh-so-strong arms of his
They went to sleep
She felt part of him still hard against her
She felt part of him still hard rubbing on the top of her thigh
And she almost forgot she didn’t really know him
Almost let him slide back in
But he was sleep
She felt the twitch of his slumber
She felt the sleep in the breaths he exhaled along her neck
Breathing softly on her neck
Breathing sweetly as a new baby
They were new
He knew how new they were and he let it be amazing.