#030614 No (Good) Reason to Refuse a Lover

The 1st twelve hours after refusing a lover are the hardest
whatever your reasons were seem ridiculous,
                                             seem futile...
and you worry if he'll call again
       you worry if you'll hear from him again
when you can still smell him on your skin,
even after you've bathed,
when the longing is so ripe you are sodden with lust
when touching yourself does not satisfy
no matter how many times you writhe in your bed alone
THOSE are the worst hours

#051111 Recycling

I wanted to know.

I needed to know.

There is something to be said about someone who knows exactly when and how to touch you. Then again, when you've had over a decade's worth of touches, is it a testament to someone's skill or their ability to adapt to routine?

Was it availability or desire that kept us boomeranging towards each other?

It was easy to get lost in him. 

There was so little offered, I could imagine or make up the rest.

I invented a world between us and he did not protest.

He always knew just where to put his hands.

Much to my dismay,

he ALWAYS knew just where to put his hands and my well formed protest would evaporate, becoming extraterrestrial to my mind.

I tried to have all serious conversations at a distance.  Even the phone would become one of his tools of manipulation and control.

Inevitably, I'd find myself touching myself simply from feeling the gravel in his voice and remembering what it felt like with breath pouring across my neck 

as he'd beckon me

as he'd implore me

as he'd command me to do his bidding.  

Thing is, 

he never even had to say anything.

Just look at me and I would know exactly what and how we were about to do things.

In person, 

I couldn't resist him.

On the phone,

he tortured my imagination with unwilling reminisces about the countless times shared between us.

I had to find a way to talk to him without talking.

Text or email would be the only way I could fortify myself when I had something of import to say to him.

Whether he'd memorized the map of pleasure he'd inked in kisses along my body over time

or 

if he was still discovering new ways to make me pant did not matter.

This time,

I would hold strong and speak to him in a font that conveyed my seriousness.

I would stray from the flowery language he'd make me spout.

My tongue would be leaden and expository instead of made from cotton candy and metaphor.

I would not exhale poetry during this conversation.

I would not sweat verse.

If he answered correctly,

if he took the silly girl seriously, 

then we'd resume our irregular existence in the never never land we created amidst the soft fabric of high thread counts.

I wanted to know

I needed to know.

#9611 Dawn

Filled w/post coitus bravado he'd curl up beside me as though he had another round in his joints.  Within seconds, he's so sleep I feel his random twitches & involuntary muscle spasms coupled with that deep chest breathing that lets me know that round 2 won't be going down any time soon. I smirked to myself, happy with the warm and now quiet body wrapped around me. With his massive form I was always serpentine curling myself around his limbs, those awesomely sculpted mounds of toned flesh,  like a boa trying desperately to draw the warmth from stone.

I wrap round him like ivy across the bricks of his stomach.
I am spanish moss dripping from his boughs.

Watching him get dressed so early in the morning makes me smile. The light is too dim for him to see that my eyes are open, but they are....They ALWAYS are.   In the sliver of silver dusk that crept over the tops and around my billowy curtains I can freely ogle his chest, arms, legs, stomach as he unknowingly stands in nature's perfect spotlight. The grey blue of the morning kissing every curve of his exquisitely chiseled form, echoing each place I'd allowed my tongue to dance just a few hours before.

It's a crime against humanity, un pecado mortal,  to see such an amazingly perfect musculature wrapped so shabbily & ironically in a cheap wife beater. Nothing about his physique is cheap. He looks like all the wealth people pray for. Delightful, sensual, insatiable.....I wasn't going to let him leave that easy, When he bends to pull up the black sweats that'd been left in a puddle on the floor I reach out to tug on the waistband of his boxer briefs and pull him back into the jersey sheets I'd picked because they remind me of him. They are the same color as that amazing torso of his.

The first time I'd turned the lights off with him, I'd had white hotel sheets on the bed. Even in the dark, he stands out like a remarkable candied spectre.  I wanted to melt against him on those overly soft sheets, and I did.
And he did.
And we did.
Again
And
Again
And
Again

Until it was the bright haze of afternoon streaming in through the same window and languidly we lay, spent and draped across each other bodies all akimbo, adhered to each other with a paste of passion in too many places to distinguish who or what was the origin. Eventually, he'd stand, and begin to wrap that divine body in fabric unworthy of his form. This time, I'd let him. Unsure, he'd glance in my direction as he dressed slooooooowly, inviting me, challenging me to stop him so our game could begin again. Eventually, the two of us would hobble to the door, 2 Olympians destroyed by our favorite sport, leaning on each other like 2 wounded veterans, and he would leave.

Long after he'd leave I'd find myself rubbing each place he'd kissed, touched, held, caressed or bit with the sheets that still smelled like him. Licking my lips as slowly as he had to taste the traces of his kiss he'd left behind. Even if only gone for but a few minutes a sense of overwhelming longing would wash over me.

It has been FAR too long....
Come see me baby...

#5211 Thinking of Midnight Eyes

Thinking of midnight eyes at 9 o'clock in the morning and wondering whose tongue will meet her thighs tonight.

A woman who is free can make 2 am eyes at half past five at the man who stares too long through his Windows of imported German glass
and
Run her hand up her shirt at happy hour,
For she really is happy,
and
Need not wonder who or where,
Just know that later there will be a who deep somewhere.

Thin line between coquettes and whoredom
She dances this line daily as she bathes away the scent and lust of midnight men and dawn screwing.

Remembering that the choice of so-called freedom,
A Liberated body bound to a conscious mind,
Was her own.

So,
Thinking of midnight lovers at 9am does not always bring a smile to lips.
Instead,
She thinks of vines in the twilight hours,
A swamp fog for a swamp fox.
He was her lover.
His eyes never told tim,
Only stories of what the midnight magic hour could bring.
Peyote kisses,
Hair like Spanish Moss.

This is what she thinks of when the man in the truck stares through his tempered Japanese glass.

She thinks of midnight eyes at all hours of the day.
Happily letting fingers dance' tween her legs,
Upon her bosom.
She thinks of kisses that guide her through the city's swamps,
Moist thighs,
Damp skirts flapping and biting her ankles all at dawn.

Those midnight men polluting her womb with unworthy attempts at planting progeny.
She stands in her shower while he sleeps in her bed.
Someone deep somewhere.
There are no swamps,
No timeless, ageless eyes.
Only a sticky stench that she watches pour away from her body
and
Run away to the drain between her toes.

Happy to have the freedom to dream of all those she has kissed with her knees,
All those she remembers at 7pm when the traffic has finally lightened up again.

When she smiles,
She can't explain why.
Being a coquette again,
Never a whore.
Never at midnight.
-tygerlily

#42811 Losing One's Senses

He is a sound sculptor and music is her church. It seems only appropriate that he rendered her deaf.

What he did to her was senseless, but in doing it, he managed to wake up all of her other senses.
She had to lose one.
He who bends sound with such ease made it so she couldn't hear a thing.

She couldn't hear anything.

She could feel their heartbeats beating inside one chest as his pressed against hers pressing against his.
Their skin melted into each others creating one body making a flesh latte
light and sweet
drowning their hips in the rhythmic pulse they couldn't help but dance against
dance with
dance in
they'd heard and sung this song before.
this was their anthem.

She could taste the very rich extreme fullness of his kisses.
His lips are her favorite fruit.
One of her basic food groups; she devours them every chance she gets.
She could taste his breath on her collarbone,
on her stomach,
salivating over each nipple,
sliding against her thighs.
His mouth was everywhere and nowhere at once.

She knew he was talking. She could see his mouth moving. She could feel his lips moving as he pulled each one into her willing mouth. She kissed him so violently she thought she'd torn one those precious fruits she cherished so deeply.

She kissed him with lips,
with teeth,
with tongue,
with arms,
with breasts,
knees,
thighs and ankles.

Their teeth clashed against each other she was so eager to abuse her senses to feel more of him.
See more of him
Taste more of him

She could see him seeing her. His honey colored eyes coating her with his piercing gaze. He stared at her, into her. She could see him seeing her and was afraid of what he'd observe. She could see him looking at all the flaws on her scarred body, mind, and heart.  He could see the things she hid so well from everyone else but could never hide from him. He was still there, still devouring her, still drugging her and her senses.

She could smell his delicious sweat that dripped down his pulsing jugular and rested in a pool in his collarbone. His scent always reminded her of her greatest and worst decisions all in one. With him, she was always her most authentic self and he devoured her in spite of it. She slurped the puddle of nectar up greedily. She could smell the cocktail of his scent mixing with hers creating a nerve gas that lulled her to do whatever he wanted to
but still couldn't hear a thing.
Couldn't hear the sweet nothings she felt him whispering in her neck.
Couldn't hear the longing he mumbled into the sweet spot behind her ear.
Couldn't hear the murmurred melody of moans, the harmony they'd purr as her eyess rolled all the way up into her head.

She could feel her own wetness drowning them both and feel the delight he felt as he rode each wave of their pleasure deeper and deeper inside.
Feel the skin break under her nails as she digs in as he digs in.
Feels the teeth sink into her skin as if his last name was Cullen.

He stole her hearing so that she would only hear him.
And he did it so artfully.
Hear only the growl in his voie when he beckoned her to come closer.
Hear only the longing in his pauses when he spoke to her.
Hear only the possession that was implied in his touch.
Hear how he grabbed hold and pulled her closer than close just......then.

Her missing sense came flooding back to her.
She thought herself dead, killed by him without even trying because all she heard was angels singing. She thought herself dead and surely in paradise because she what she heard was so powerful and strong and unlike anything she'd ever heard before.
She thought herself dead until she felt something warm and wet in the just under her chin and realized she wasn't dead at all.
At least not literally. Le petit mort.

She could hear again, hear him whispering to her....
and she whispered back....

"Again?"

-tygerlily

#3911 Come Hither

 

She had on too much perfume.

She didn't mean to put on so much, but she knew he loved the way it smelled so she doused herself in it. It was a blend of oils she'd made up and called "Come Hither." She only wore it when she was definitively on the prowl. This combination could and had had detrimental affects when worn carelessly.  A lover once told her it smelled like the best sex he ever had.  Tonight, she applied it to all the places she wanted him to kiss.
Wrists
Nape of her neck
Valley between her busom
Backs of her knees
Small of her back
Her navel
The meeting of her thighs
It had been so long since she'd last....seen him and he was only in town for the night. She hadn't even planned on going out that night, but since she was out, she wanted to make sure he knew shewas there before he could even see me. She wanted to linger in the air.

Would he look the same?

She made her rounds 'round the table, greeting and air kissing until she got to him. He stood, opened his arms then slid them around my waist under her open jacket and pulled her to him so effortlessly. She had fully meant to keep her distance in the embrace, but instead, feeling those arms around that waist....she was back in the familiar place both of them fought so hard so often to forget. She nestled into that familiar faraway place, her head resting in the valley of his neck and just inhaled him, as she was sure he was inhaling her. He bowed his head and ran his finger from her collarbone to her cheek and back again. She craned her neck eagerly anticipating the bites he used to plant where his thumb now danced. He planted a soft kiss an inch or two lower than he should have for it to only be a kiss of greeting.

When she felt his lips on her neck, she forgot where she was, forgot who she was, or what she was supposed to be doing.

"I know that scent well." He whispered into her ear as he took a deep breath of her scent. His breath almost felt like a growl in his chest as he took a hit of her intoxicating smell. It emanated off of her. His face was still much too close and much too low to be as innocent as she was feigning this encounter to be.

Just as quickly, he pulled away and held her at arms length, a wry smile on his lips as he drank her in visually. She battled with her legs to invent a steadiness she certainly wasn't feeling. He'd made her weak. So much for them just being friends. No one at the table even batted an eye. The whole exchange had been less than half a minute, but a lifetime of their encounters washed over her in that instant.

They sat at the table in close enough proximity to tell a thousand secrets to one another with their eyes and careful smiles. Without speaking they made dirty promises about what they would do to one another if ever they were able to escape the rest of their party. The drinks flowed easily. Her clothes felt too heavy and she was disinterested in the meal. She looked at him an he bit his lower lip ever.so.slightly.... She got fidgety and impatient.

She excused myself from the table and felt his eyes consuming her as she walked. He felt her wetness around him from across the table, across the room and his eyes continued to devour her as she moved slowly away from him and the party they were with. Knowing he was thinking about the same thing she was caused her to inhale slowly and hold tight her muscles at the entry to her love. There was no certainty they would be able to make good on what they were both so close to they could taste it. She didn't want to get her hopes up. She strode as confidently as she could towards the ladies' room. The hallway was dark and long and narrow and led to a tiny water closet with a pull string light.

She looked at herself in the mirror.

The flush she was feeling had crept up her neck to her cheeks. She rinsed her hands under cool water, wet up a paper towel and pressed it to her neck to try and sober up from this longing that had made her dizzy. She'd hoped the wet paper would help to cool her hunger.

When she thought she'd collected herself, she opened the too small door and stepped out only to be met with him standing a few feet down the hall propped against the wall, head hung ever so slightly. His presence startled her and she stumbled back. There was a tiny ledge between the door and the hallway and seeing him there caused her to slip and almost fall. He darted forward to save her, one arm slid into the small of her back and the other into her hand.

Around him, she even fell gracefully.

He righted her and she found herself up against the wall trying to catch/steady her breath, her pulse doing a step routine in my ears. They were frozen as if caught in a moment on a faraway dance floor. His arm round her waist, his other hand holding hers slightly above their heads. He leaned her arm against the door jam and allowed his arm to sloooowly travel down her wrist, her elbow, up her shoulder, cross her collarbone until his finger traced the line of her jaw to her chin. The soft pallate of her throat fit perfectly between his thumb and forefinger and still holding her by the throat he commanded her her neck upwards to welcome his kiss. With just those two fingers, he had the strength to hold her exactly where he wanted her. He had her by her neck pressed against the doorjam, the mass of his body against her. She couldn't get away if she wanted to and there was not a drop of fear in her heart. She liked how he held her.

Something about the danger of it made her pulse quicken.
Something about the aggression of it let her know exactly where he was waking up the next morning.
Too much needed to happen for them to part ways at the end of the meal.

Her chest rose against him. He left no room between them for it to fall.

Over his shoulder, she saw a busboy darting towards them,
misunderstanding the encounter and trying to come to her rescue much too late.
She welcomed his kiss.
She welcomed his arms holding her to him.
She welcomed all of the possibilities that night had to offer.

-----------------------
The dim light creeping around the curtains let her know they hadn't slept at all. He laid head to foot on the bed drinking in her legs through his hands. He'd run his fingers from heel to thigh, then glide his open palm over the vast expanse of her legs as if trying to memorize them or cover them in his fingertips. He kissed them, licked them, bit them, embraced them, held them. Even with morning-after hair and makeup she'd never felt as beautiful as she did that morning in his eyes as he devoured her legs. She'd never felt so tall, so supple, so womanly as she did laying across that hotel bed that morning.

Laying with him

Her skin was so awake with passion... she could feel the difference in the callouses on his hands, the soft pads of his fingertips....They were drowsy with sleep and longing for each other but too afraid to let the minutes pass by sleeping through the morning....after all, he was only in town for the night, and the night was running away from them fast.

She turned her gaze away from him briefly into the pillow and was met with her own scent mingling with his. Her breath seized sharply when she felt him wanting more against her thigh.

One hand slid effortlessly up her calves, up her thighs, making small circles 'round her belly as if saluting the home of the baby they joked of making.... up higher and higher, dancing along one breast, then the other until he had her neck once again cradled between those fingers of his.  His mouth followed the same path his hand had taken. She arched under each slow, wet kiss...each one eliciting a soft gasp from her parted mouth.  He climbed her slowly with his mouth til she pulled him close to her, so very close to her. She panted against the same place her face had nestled into hours earlier when they were still clothed.

He looked at her. She looked back. Their eyes met. Their stare answered hundreds of questions. Usually one to look away as she writhed with want, she held his gaze, smiled at him. He smiled back. They both inhaled deeply and then,
he entered her just as he was and she let him in....
-tygerlily

#22311 skype

he was where he was
and she was where she was
and that wasn't the same place
geographically or otherwise.

they both wanted to keep in
touch.

they both wanted to be
touched.

she needed to be
touched
so desperately.

they logged on.

she looked at him.

he looked at her.

they made idle chatter for a while
and then
she leaned a certain way
and her shirt hung lower than it should've.

he caught a glance of more than he should've.

he said things he shouldn't've.

she blushed.

pulled her shirt up instantly
but kinda liked the things he said.

kinda wanted him to say more.

definitely wanted him to say more.

so
she leaned again
accidentally on purpose
and let more of her shirt fall forward

"seems like it's in the way, you might as well just take it off,"

he said.

she did.

she watched him bite one side of his lower lip
imagined it was her mouth biting that lip
even found herself biting her own in effigy.

she could taste how sweet his mouth was.

staring at him
staring at her
vulnerable
and
naked before him
with nothing but two monitors between them
the hundreds of miles between them disappeared.

she bit her finger
she bit her lip
nervous
uncomfortable
scared
and
excited all at once
and he
well,
he was excited too.

her hand traveled
slowly
deliberately
along her torso
let her fingers dance along the curve of her breast.

he watched
imagining her fingers were his
remembering how soft her skin felt.

her hands became his as she let her hand travel
lower
slower
and through the screen
he parted her thighs
the smallest moan escaped her lips.

he bit his lower lip again
remembering how her warm felt.

she saw him biting and remembered how good his hands felt
when they danced across her skin.

she saw him biting and remember how good his mouth felt
when he traced her with the tip of his tongue
covering her body with kisses
with bites.

they both remembered.

her hands became his.

his hands became hers.

each one of them staring
into the screens
into each other's eyes.

staring into each other's eyes was
intense.

their hands covering each other's bodies

reaching across the miles to
feel each other.

his breathing quickened.

he let out a deep sigh.

something about hearing that sigh
made her start to run down his fingers.

she let out a deep sigh.

he could feel that she was ready for him.

she could feel he was ready for her.

she let him slide his fingers inside her
and
welcomed him with another low guttural moan.

he reciprocated by allowing her to wrap her fingers 'round him
and he liked it.

he mmmmed with approval.

they both wanted to be
touched.

they needed to be
touched.

and she touched him
and he touched her
across the miles
through the screens

they touched
and moaned
and writhed against
each others imaginations.

eyes squeezed shut
willing sense memories to the mind's surface.

ignoring the space.

ignoring the distance.

until,
each gasped.

she arched and he plunged one
last
glorious
time
and
then
all
fell
silent

and time stopped.

but for their panting in unison
each would have forgotten the other was there.

the opened their eyes

she stared at her long distance lover
and smiled,
coyly,
innocently.

he returned her smile as if it were the kiss they both missed
and stared at her
sated for now,
but sure to want more again.

"wow...tomorrow night?"
-tygerlily

#12611 He Called Me Lucky

She remembers the first time he showed her his scars….
she’d gone to 2 for 1 margaritas and on a whim sent him a text to see if he was free that evening.
they’d been sexting back and forth for what felt like years but really had only been a few months.
It had only been since memorial day and it wasn’t even labor day yet.
He said he was coming through
She didn’t know what to do.
She was new
She was new again.
She hadn’t been new in a while, and she was very, very new.
He came over
Traversed all the boros he had to get through to get to her
And he was there
He was there and just as fine as all the pictures he’d sent her over the months had made him out to be.
She was afraid.
She was afraid of disappointment
She was afraid the anticipation would outlive the possibility
She was afraid that they hype would be greater than the hump.
He pulled up his pants leg and showed her his scars.
There were so many of them
So many places but somehow, they worked for him.
So deeply imbedded in the curvature of the muscles of his leg
They were
Perfect
scars
Almost more perfect than the ones he’d paid for on his arms.

She’d had 2 for 1 margaritas and had to follow up with something when she got home ‘cause she was not typically the kind of girl who did things like that….

Isn’t that always what all the girls who typically do stuff like this say say before they do something like this again?
He sat on the floor
She sat on the edge of the couch
Watching him
Rub one scar and then another
And
It was just something about being close to a man that
GODDAMNED FINE
In her house who wanted to be with her enough to travel as far as he did to get there.

She pounced.
She didn’t mean to pounce,
I promise you she didn’t
She didn’t even realize she was stratteling him and that one lobe of that delightful ear
his one delightful unpierced ear was in her mouth.
She sat facing him and his hands cupped her buttocks as if he were going to offer her up in to the heavens in thanks for what she was doing to

His neck
His ear
His neck
His ear
His collarbone

Up to his chin
Up to those lips
Those lips to this day still make her quiver

She saved a picture of him to her mental harddrive and every now and again she opens it to remember what those lips did to the many,many,many inches of her long frame again and again and again….

It was his fault
If he hadn’t shown her those scars and how they formed dimples on those amazing legs of his
She wouldn’t have done it
But she did

And now
His hands are now up her back
His hands are now in the nape of her neck
Holding it back
Two fists full of her hair
Craning her neck away from his mouth so that he could take her in the way that she had taken him in

His hands had none of the callouses that a man of his musculature should have had.
His hands felt like they should have spent his life embroidering
No scars on those

She couldn’t even remember how their shirts came off
But she did remember feeling as though in that split moment when his amazing torso pressed against her breast first time that she probably should’ve never done anyone or anything but him.

He wrapped his arms around her completely.
He could wrap his arm,
one arm
around her all the way.
She felt small and frail in his strong embrace and she liked it.
She liked the way it made her feel.
It made her bold

She pulled her own hair
She pulled herself back down to devour that mouth.

Without so much as a grunt a moan or a forced breath he stood holding her
She wrapped her serpentine self him
Her legs clinging to his waist as though that was where they had always intended to be.
His arms around her
And the next thing she knew they were somehow undressed
Neither of them remembers how it happened
She remembers one of those scars brush ever so slightly against her inner thigh
She felt the scar and then his nipple drag closer to her knee
as his face went lower
and lower
and lower
covering every molecule of her flesh with kisses.
She hadn’t planned on it going here
They were just going to make out,
She thought
But, make out they did like BANDITS
The way that he was making her feel she soaked his mouth, his chin, his mustache, his beard,
She didn’t know she could get as wet as she was.
She
Just
soaked
him.

And
He
Liked
It.

He moaned as he devoured her.
As he stuck his tongue deep inside her
In a place where no one had been in sooo long.
Nobody had been there in such a while.

She turned the light off and lost track of where she was
But somehow she could still see colors
She could still see the notes that the slow jams mixtape she’d put together were singing
And she couldn’t even read music.

He felt
SPECTAULAR
He felt like every moan she had wasted on any and every one who came before him

And when he finally tore the wrapper open
and
covered himself in a sheath and slid into her
When he finally got inside her

Sweet Lord and Baby Jesus
She
felt
like
she
was
new

She was new
He made her new
And she didn’t want to know anything but him
He knew how new she felt.
And instead of being cocky or arrogant or stuck up or disgusting
He moaned as if he was new as well.

Their new newness
Their joint newness
Made her even wetter
And she felt herself sliding against him,
She felt herself rocking with him,
Towards him
Against him
Under him

He slid one of those softly strong into the small of her back
Cupped her buttocks
And pulled her closer in
She couldn’t help it
She shrieked

He looked at her startled and didn’t know what to make outta the sound she just made
It sounded like someone just cut the throat out of a live rooster
She said
“I am so sorry….It’s just that you are sooo fcking…..”

and she couldn’t even finish the rest sentence
‘cause he was soooo fcking her sooo fcking well.

Then he started to say her name

She lost it

She lost control

He just kept panting her name into her neck
“Lucky….” She heard him moan

“Lucky!” She heard him moan

as he started to go harder

“LUCKY!!!.” She heard him moan….

And she couldn’t remember his name ‘cause she’d only invited him over for a few drinks so she just said

“Yes, baby! YES Baby! YES BABY!!!”

And he kept calling her Lucky and all she felt ‘cause she certainly was to be something that felt like that
And Lucky she became.

That night he held her ALL
Night
Long.
Long after they were winding against each other’s pelvises
Long after they’d made a sweaty puddle against her new Egyptian cotton sheets
He held her in that puddle.
She was perfectly willing to give him the spaces he thought he was going to need
So she rolled over.

He took one of those chiseled arms, slid it underneath her
Pulled her to him
Wrapped her in the other one
Nuzzled the back of her neck from her kitchen to her collarbone
Kissed her across as much of her breast as he could without folding her and breaking her bones in those oh-so-strong arms of his

And then

They went to sleep

She felt part of him still hard against her
She felt part of him still hard rubbing on the top of her thigh
And she almost forgot she didn’t really know him
And
Almost let him slide back in
But he was sleep
She felt the twitch of his slumber
She felt the sleep in the breaths he exhaled along her neck
Breathing softly on her neck
Breathing sweetly as a new baby

They were new
He knew how new they were and he let it be amazing.
-tygerlily