Thursday, September 8, 2011

#9611 Dawn

Filled w/post coitus bravado he'd curl up beside me as though he had another round in his joints.  Within seconds, he's so sleep I feel his random twitches & involuntary muscle spasms coupled with that deep chest breathing that lets me know that round 2 won't be going down any time soon. I smirked to myself, happy with the warm and now quiet body wrapped around me. With his massive form I was always serpentine curling myself around his limbs, those awesomely sculpted mounds of toned flesh,  like a boa trying desperately to draw the warmth from stone.

I wrap round him like ivy across the bricks of his stomach.
I am spanish moss dripping from his boughs.

Watching him get dressed so early in the morning makes me smile. The light is too dim for him to see that my eyes are open, but they are....They ALWAYS are.   In the sliver of silver dusk that crept over the tops and around my billowy curtains I can freely ogle his chest, arms, legs, stomach as he unknowingly stands in nature's perfect spotlight. The grey blue of the morning kissing every curve of his exquisitely chiseled form, echoing each place I'd allowed my tongue to dance just a few hours before.

It's a crime against humanity, un pecado mortal,  to see such an amazingly perfect musculature wrapped so shabbily & ironically in a cheap wife beater. Nothing about his physique is cheap. He looks like all the wealth people pray for. Delightful, sensual, insatiable.....I wasn't going to let him leave that easy, When he bends to pull up the black sweats that'd been left in a puddle on the floor I reach out to tug on the waistband of his boxer briefs and pull him back into the jersey sheets I'd picked because they remind me of him. They are the same color as that amazing torso of his.

The first time I'd turned the lights off with him, I'd had white hotel sheets on the bed. Even in the dark, he stands out like a remarkable candied spectre.  I wanted to melt against him on those overly soft sheets, and I did.
And he did.
And we did.

Until it was the bright haze of afternoon streaming in through the same window and languidly we lay, spent and draped across each other bodies all akimbo, adhered to each other with a paste of passion in too many places to distinguish who or what was the origin. Eventually, he'd stand, and begin to wrap that divine body in fabric unworthy of his form. This time, I'd let him. Unsure, he'd glance in my direction as he dressed slooooooowly, inviting me, challenging me to stop him so our game could begin again. Eventually, the two of us would hobble to the door, 2 Olympians destroyed by our favorite sport, leaning on each other like 2 wounded veterans, and he would leave.

Long after he'd leave I'd find myself rubbing each place he'd kissed, touched, held, caressed or bit with the sheets that still smelled like him. Licking my lips as slowly as he had to taste the traces of his kiss he'd left behind. Even if only gone for but a few minutes a sense of overwhelming longing would wash over me.

It has been FAR too long....
Come see me baby...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

#9311 JUST friends

We were 
JUST friends,
but that didn't dull the sting,
not even a little bit.

You left.

I was celebrating and hadn't even planned on seeing you.
I'd put all thoughts of you
and what I really wanted from you
out of my mind.

you manifested

Being just close enough,
but somehow not close enough.

Right then,
I wanted you more than I wanted wealth.
Right then,
I wanted you more than I wanted fame.
Right then,
I wanted you more than I wanted to be free.
Why would I want freedom when I could be bound to you?
Why would I want freedom when I could be braiding my limbs to you?

You rested your hand
                  your hands
on my body....

Through my dress,
I wanted every single one of those digits to memorize every single piece of me.
Through my dress,
your fingertips burned into my skin the words you pretended not to want to say.

But you were leaving shortly.

You were leaving the event
                 leaving our unspoken conversation
                 leaving me
your friend
to go and see another.

You didn't say it.
I could read it in the pain of your expression
I could read it in the way you said
you had to go

as if waiting for me to give you a reason to stay.

I couldn't say what I was thinking.
After all,
We were JUST friends.
I couldn't say to you
She's not me
Won't be
Can't be
All you need and want

She has you tonight when I want you
She has you tonight when I danced with you
for the second time
She has you tonight when 
I've put an hour's extra effort into how I look
                                                     how I smell
                                                     how I feel
All for you
All to let you know I hear what you're thinking.
You left me to go and see her
Whoever she is doesn't matter.
She's not me.

Won't be
Can't be
All you need and want

I shouldn't care.
We're JUST supposed to be
JUST friends
I'm on one tonight.
I'm killing it tonight.
I'm serving tonight.

                              serving lipslegsandlashes tonight
I caught you staring at my lipslegsandlashes
I want those fingers on my lipslegsandlashes

The fact that those fingers won't know me tonight,
won't touch me in the morning like J Cole said
won't make me grateful for waiting 
for you
won't make me gasp as if on the place I touch real late when all alone and call your name
because of course,
we're JUST friends
Neither of us wants this.
You know as well as I do
If your eyes hadn't told on you,
your hands certainly did
those hands that didn't fight my hem as my moves made it move dangerously north
those hands that rested far too low on my curves 
those hands that burned intentions through my dress as you pulled me too close

It was late
and so you left
                  left the event
                  left our unspoken conversation
                  left me
JUST your friend
to go and see another.
You didn't say it
I could read it in the pain of your expression
I could read it in the way you said
you had to go.

I tried dancing with others, but their hands felt clumsy
I tried dancing with others, but they told me to put my phone away.
I kept it close in case you changed your mind
I watched the door in case you changed your mind
                              in case you realized what I already know

You deserve better
You could do better
I promise
I'm better